A Holiday Recap

As we approach easter and I reflect on the many holidays that have passed while in Madagascar, I am in general surprised that being away from home hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be. First it was my birthday and then Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years followed not long after. And in general, although I missed being with family - I wasn’t sad to not be home. 

Usually the hardest times were the festivities surrounding a holiday as opposed to the day itself. The things I missed most were decorating for Halloween and Christmas or shopping on Black Friday after Thanksgiving. Many find this surprising, but what I’ve come to realize is that I almost always have something planned on the day of the holiday so it keeps me busy and I enjoy spending time with those I’m surrounded by here in Madagascar.

So here are the recaps of all of my holidays so far:

My Birthday - My friends made a tiara, I got a cake, and the Sup Bra Stage was all at the PCTC. We celebrated with a giant bonfire and smores on the volleyball court. It was pretty special!

Halloween - We had our Mahajanga region meeting out at a beautiful beach resort an hour and a half from home. It didn’t feel like Halloween because it was much too hot, but it was a wonderful getaway!

Thanksgiving - The expats in Mahajanga had a wonderful dinner at what is now my home (it wasn’t at the time) and I spent the day cooking with friends. It was very special to have such a wonderful meal with our expat community here! The best part is that it all tasted like a Thanksgiving meal you would eat in the states. I made my dad's stuffing which was very popular! It’s amazing what you can do with a little creativity, determination, and a special market vendor who is willing to import celery from the highlands!

Christmas Eve/Christmas - I was on vacation for Christmas where I visited the southern highlands and the southeast. We went to the beach in Manakara and Ranomafana to visit the National Park where we saw lots of lemurs and chameleons. The photo on the left is a mouse lemur eating a banana. For Christmas Eve we went to the hot springs in Ranomafana (which translates to hot water) and did a night hike and saw mouse lemurs, chameleons, and frogs. Christmas Day was spent traveling, but we had a nice relaxing day in Fianarantsoa. I baked peanut butter blossoms, skyped with family, and ended the day with a really nice dinner.

New Year's - I spent New Year’s in Tana and went to a nice lunch with a few friends before spending my first day of 2016 unexpectedly at a resort and then flying back to Mahajanga!

Tomorrow is Easter, which happens to be the biggest holiday of the year here in Madagascar. I’m going to spend it with my best friend here in Mahajanga and her family. I’m so excited to have the opportunity to go to church and have Easter lunch with them. I can’t wait to tell you all about it!

Are we living in the same country!?

I got this message from a fellow PCV after I posted pictures about the grand opening of Mahajanga’s newest grocery store - Shoprite! It’s South African owned and about as close to an American grocery store as you can get. It also happens to be the third “grocery store” to open in Mahajanga. Behind the capital, Tana, we are now the only city with all three options. And, yes, grocery shopping here is just like the US. I know I now get my peanut butter at Shoprite, my honey at Leader Price, and beef at Score, and I still go to my local market for fruits and veggies, which means I do go to all 4 on a regular basis because some things are cheaper at one store than another. If grocery shopping every week was supposed to get simpler here, I would have to say - it most definitely hasn’t.

So I think you can see why me friend’s question was justified. And to tell the truth as I stood in the middle of Shoprite today I wasn’t exactly sure what country I was in. What I did know was this wasn’t how I expected my Peace Corps service to be, nor is life this way for almost every other Peace Corps volunteer here in Madagascar. I expected, like everyone else, the once or twice a week tiny market in town with limited seasonal vegetables or a 5 mile bike ride to get to a once a week market. 

As I began to think about those previous expectations I felt guilty… Who was I to go buy my chicken breast from the meat counter at a grocery store!? But as I sat with my Malagasy friends at their house today, I realized I was living a perfectly normal life here in Mahajanga. Certainly there are those who are very poor and never go into a grocery store, but amongst my Malagasy friends and others who are living at the same income level it’s perfectly normal. Today after we had all visited Shoprite at separate times of the day we were even comparing prices and talking about what we will buy where now that the new store is open. 

A feeling of gratefulness came over me as the guilt left. I am so thankful to have access to so many of these wonderful luxuries that most volunteers don’t have the opportunity to get. I can make well balanced meals semi-comparable to what I would make at home (although don’t get me wrong there are somethings I still miss like crazy!). I am also thankful to have access to all of these foods as I struggle with a new gastrointestinal diagnosis that makes my current diet difficult. 

So my answer to her question is, yes, I’m still in Madagascar. And, yes, Mahajanga is amazing - you should all come visit.

Well at least I can check that off of my bucket list?

One of the last few things I said to myself before returning back to Madagascar was - I just need one little thing to go right… Feeling discouraged and unsure I was hoping for the best as I returned to site. And things started off pretty well! I was back into the swing of things before I knew it and things were looking up! I even rode my bicycle for the first time and went all the way into town.

And then then next thing I knew I was looking down… and was on the ground… 

I was riding my bicycle on the main road closest to my house, (going straight mind you!) When a motorcycle going the opposite direction took a left turn into oncoming traffic and me. I saw him begin to make the turn (remember there aren’t lights or hand signals) and before I could say anything or react he had hit and popped my front tire and the next thing I knew I was on the ground. My bike landed on top of me and then he was gone. He paused for less than a fraction of a second to see what or who he had hit and he took off. 

For a while I was so angry at the driver. He didn’t even stop. His fear of being in trouble overcame any desire to do the right thing. His face was filled of fear of what may happen to him, not fear over what he had done to me. And what was even harder to accept was that no one helped me. The street was filled with people walking and others driving and sure they all stopped, but they only stopped to stare. They knew what the driver did was wrong, but no one moved an inch to get to me or the driver Even writing about it brings back some of those not-so-nice feelings.

After the anger came disbelief. I couldn’t believe it actually happened. I just laughed at my luck. Of course it would be me. After all, I have been the person saying for the past 6 months that I wasn’t sure if riding a bike was a good idea here in Mahajanga…

But it did happen, so praise God I wasn’t injured more than a few bumps and bruises on my hands and knees. My bicycle took the brunt of it. I try not to think about what could have happened because it could have been so much worse. I try to now to just be thankful I’m okay and be glad I was wearing my helmet.

I’m not so sure that was on my bucket list, but, hey, now at least I can check that one off. Been there — survived that — and things are looking up again.

Coming out of the Storm

My excitement to get back to Mahajanga in January was fleeting. The tooth I had chipped before the new year escalated to multiple dentist appointments, lots of frustrating delay from Peace Corps, another unnecessarily long 12 hour trip to my least favorite place, Tana, finding out nothing and being shipped home on another 12 hour bus ride all knowing that if Washington DC thought something had to be fixed I would have to do the 24 hours of travel all over again. A few weeks later I received the email that my tooth was going to lead to a medevac and I would be off to South Africa soon. Bosses returned and I met them for the first time, my roommate moved in, and then yet again I was off…. another 12 hour trip to the capital and then a flight to South Africa. I felt like I was in the midst of a storm. 

So much for the idea that I would be settling in when I returned home in January. I was in Mahajanga only a few weeks at a time and I felt alone. I eagerly awaited the trip to South Africa thinking it would be a nice getaway (minus the dental work). When I found out one of the other girls from my region would be there too, I was so excited we could explore things together.

But the day before I had left for South Africa - I was done. I had had enough and was ready to just call it quits. Thankfully the Berrys (who are some of the most amazing people I have ever met) and other PCVs in Tana put everything in perspective. Maybe this trip was exactly what I needed and would provide a true fresh start. 

I left for my medevac with a half full giant suitcase hoping it would be somewhat of a medevacation. It was rougher than I expected, with some wonderful moments, shopping, and food in there as well. If you know me I HATE the dentist, and because of complications I spent 2 weeks in and out of the dentist’s office. I also did some tests for my stomach that is still bothering me and although I thought the doctors were interested in helping me solve my ongoing problem, they weren’t helpful at all. An ultrasound successfully located my pain but beyond that everything was a fight. They wouldn’t even let me see a GI doctor because they claimed it wouldn’t help. And I was told other volunteers dealt with worse so I should just deal with it and go home. Towards the end of the medevac I was at an even lower place emotionally than where I had been before I left. I felt like there was no way I could deal with this pain for 2 years. If Peace Corps wasn’t going to help me then maybe it was time to head home. My mom was a big believer in this idea as well. Site wasn’t going well, the medevac wasn’t going well, and after everything I have already been through my mom thought I gave it my best shot, but enough was enough. Actually I’m not sure there was anyone in the US who thought I should return to Madagascar after the medevac, and to be honest I wasn’t sure myself. I felt like I just needed something to go right, in the midst of everything going wrong.

Upon returning to Tana it was almost like culture shock all over again. After shopping, getting my haircut, eating amazing food, and even seeing ferraris; getting off of the plane was difficult. I was blessed enough to spend some time with people from the embassy who made the transition so much easier. I was blessed with the opportunity to meet 2 RPCVs (1 who is legendary in Mada because of his 4 years in his village!) at a dinner. I confided in them that I didn’t know what I was going to do, and I wasn’t sure if staying was right for me. These newly found friends seemed to have more faith in me than I had in myself. They said to go home to site and give it some time, and they passed along advice. The first was to make a long list of books and say you couldn’t leave until you finished them all. The second was a reminder that this would all be a memory before I knew it, and that I shouldn’t make it a memory before I really had to. And both of those things have really stuck with me. I’m currently deep in a series of LA crime books with a dozen still to go. And as the storm begins to calm, I know that I’m not ready for this all to be a memory quite yet.